ALANNA E. COOPER
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So it's not just me

5/22/2013

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Last night, I had a great discussion with several friends about Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In."  Most agreed that they had been reluctant to read or purchase the book because of the very fact that it is Number 1 on the best-seller list.  

We are Cambridge ladies, after all, and we like to fancy ourselves as doing things differently from the rest of the country.  Despite ourselves, the book fell into the hands of a number of us - and we all agreed that it resonated in so many ways with our own personal experiences.  Experiences that we each may have chalked up to our own idiosyncratic, insecure, neurotic, fill-in-the blank tendencies.   I came away from our discussion (and from the book) with a sense of comradary and relief; a feeling that my private experiences in the workplace and at home are not only my own, but that they are in many ways gendered, and part of a larger phenomena (which we often don't speak acknowledge).

When people left the house after several hours discussing, I went upstairs and had a telling conversation with my husband.  "It's 11 PM!  People just left now?"  He was baffled by the whole event.  He had crossed in and out of the living room while we were talking.  "All that sharing, taking turns, listening:  I can not imagine anything more boring!"  Indeed.  That is precisely the point.  

As follow-up, I am wondering about the possibility of creating an on-line forum for friends to share their experiences and challenges as women in the workplace (and at home).  I'll try it through this blog and see if it works.  If you have something you'd like to post (a story, comments, a shout-out for advice, a good read) let me know and I"ll put it up here.  

For now: I've received a few notes with weblinks, which you may find of interest.  I'll post them below.  
From Leah: I found the following column by one of my favorite feminists, fellow strident person Amanda Marcotte, regarding compliments on looks:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/04/05/why_obama_s_compliments_to_kamala_harris_aren_t_harmless_but_part_of_a_larger.html

From Elisha: Two items I thought to share are the Makers documentary I raved about http://www.makers.com/documentary/ 
And Lila mentioned Mindfulness meditation and I have a friend writes a blog about mindful parenting - this post of her stuck with me - particularly the part about mindful meditation while driving http://www.wildmind.org/applied/daily-life/mindful-driving 

1 Comment
Leah link
5/23/2013 01:00:39 am

Alanna, thanks for a wonderful evening. LOL on DH's response "I can't imagine anything more boring" :) I would have wanted to stay even longer if we weren't all falling asleep by then!

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